Astraying

Time plays the tune – now soft, melodious and now poignant, rough. And you’re hurled hither or thither, along the melody. You can never discern the pattern, and never a purpose, if there’s any. The path is fraught with as many bumpy rides as your breathes and you’ve no choice but to go for them. Such is the irony of life.

As notes dim down to whispers, you take a pause and stop somewhere along the journey. You lets your breathes straighten and take a quick rest. The bugle pronounces the resuming and back you’re, again on the unending trail. Every step you take brings you wonders- there are the rains and the pains – parched throats and vacant hopes. Mirages that lead you off the trail into wonderlands of sorts and  you let yourself indulge, knowing the finale draws closer nonetheless.

Then one day, when you wake up to a purposeless life, the fatigue with which it wears upon your conscience is too heavy to bear! You never conjure up the motive to get up and move. It’s the lethary that starts setting in when the monotony of life and death dawns upon you, unleashed bare by those who won’t give you any dear, wishful delusions to dwell in. And howsoever you may curse them, the truth, the poignant truth makes itself known. Even when you place your hand on your ears and shut your eyes from reality, it seeps through skin, flesh and blood and runs through you. And then, every moment is a pain; every breathe an instance of agony. You wish to draw yourself out of this whirl of mirages and contour of colors and visions but its drapes draw tighter about you, stiffling, exhausting, piercing and bleeding. Fear, that once was, is replaced with a hollowness that devours your ownself into it. And you’re drawn into that void, helpless and torn apart. Every new dawning breaks apart a part of that once solid being and lets it roll in a different direction. And you lie there, still on your bed in the early morning moments, contemplating the pain itself and the sun that shines like a golden dagger through your heart. And you realize nothing really matters. It all is but a little more than a dream.

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