Flipping the chance

Touching the fate where it wrote stale lives for your existence – trying to erase that mark off your eye where it moves across to your brow and makes you look villain-like? Now, now are you? For when I tipped my glass of scotch with my lies and your black promises wrapped in the rust-misted dust, you seemed to be struggling. Was it trying for you? Was it? Or was it that vain attempt to mint some more of my ram-damn self? If so, you surely returned empty-handed that day as you crossed the glass with lean shoulders and a tired despondency spent across your face – so rightfully so dear, so very rightfully!!

I didn’t push that through me, though …right from the start – I just let it pass. Sometimes you have the charge – at others you just have to wish. It was the latter. I wished, you did it for me – thinking of it, all the time, as the pretext to you triumph. Tsk tsk..such incompatible intellects.

You thought you had the right card while the joker laughed its head off in my cold grip. You surely heard his echoes ring when I called off your useless trumps.

You fell twice in a row and I didn’t even let you fondly admire the acrid taste of despondency. Strong feelings can be invigorating. And I couldn’t have afforded to stir you upon the silent recede – not yet, with so many scores yet to settle with you!

So we moved further on…

You stepped forward – tossed the coin and found the tails. I laughed at nature’s astute apprehensiveness – you weren’t fortunate enough to cherish it that day. Its instinctual epexegesis didn’t stir you a bit. Well…if you want to lose it, better be that way! Kicking that pebble on the wet pavement, you never realized you were losing it all – bit by bit – by each passing moment. The cadence of my breathes was the countdown – the bet was our lives; and the stake put at everything within them. I always like it that way – on or gone. Risk everything or lose the chance to feel the feel of it! While I grasped the entirety of the plan and cherished the risks, enjoying each moment into it and relishing every tiny bit of sentiment running through the cannulars of my excited veins, you lighted you cigarette in sheer ignorance – and hence in absolute impotence to face the obvious finale. In the flame of it, as you inhaled it closer and closer, it really was getting closer towards you – to burn you and singe you with marks of defeat set all upon the escutcheon of your subsistence – only you never saw it coming.

And when it did hit you, it was a bolt from the blue. You staggered under the weight of disbelief counting profoundly upon your nerves. And I watched, in intrigue, every trace of it carved into your face – better be this than the emblem of mocking lies you wore earlier! The sheet of December frost aching in my eyes didn’t prevent me from witnessing your trembling hands and livid face – and the harsh winter wind didn’t stop me from cherishing the moments most heartily. You looked towards my face – I wasn’t generous enough to offer any condolences. For long, I had waited for this moment. When I’d be standing with clear eyes and ample time and elation about my soul while you…you’d be sinking into the dark waters whither I tossed all your facades of falsity and left you empty-handed.

It all slipped between your fingers when you thought it all was there for you – me, neither. Your clever words met a clever confrontation of unrevealed feelings and the gist of each was powerful enough to keep the game going this long – now, however, the iters of our trail bent further towards the tangential conduit. It was ending either way – I only played the agent of conclusion. It’d been lying merely a foot from the plunge and I just helped it with this foot – only it dropped heavy upon your slabs of fate where the pen of chance was scribbling your triumphs.

For one last time, I looked at your face through the December fog. And then I left you there, struck dumb in your bankruptcy of life’s chances after having your generous share of it. My turn dude!